Forget Saw 1 through 76. Forget Watcher in the Woods. Today I experienced a real life Horror Story. Skin crawling, near puking, gnashing of teeth and wailing horror story. Here's how it began. Oh, actually, I have to give some background on it. I have a tooth brush holder in my bathroom. Dan has a fancy schmancy toothbrush with it's own holder, so you'd think I wouldn't have to share. No. Heidi has a yellow toothbrush that I keep in there for her to chew on while I'm combing everyone's hair. Morgan has somehow commandeered my bathroom for teethbrushing and has a green toothbrush. I have an orange toothbrush.
So, this morning, I sent Morgan up to brush his teeth before school. (I can sense all of you starting to shudder-- almost as if you know exactly where this road to the creepy house in the middle of the forest dripping with moss on a dark and stormy night leads.) After I got the kids on the bus and had my own leisurely breakfast, I went up to brush my teeth. My reach for the toothbrush ended in accidental contact with the bristles. So much of my life is on automatic. I automatically got my brush wet and squirted toothpaste on and almost had it to my mouth before I realized THE BRUSH WAS WET WHEN I FIRST TOUCHED IT!!!!!!! How long has this been going on?! Orange is not Green. Morgan is not color blind! Was this the first time he'd used my toothbrush? Have we been SHARING a toothbrush?! If this had been the movie Saw (I haven't seen it because it looks remarkably stupid, but I do have a good idea of what it's about) I would have ripped out my own teeth and tongue, but since it's real life and since I love my son and know that mistakes are made, I simply got out a purple toothbrush. He will never mistake a girl color for a toothbrush that he owns, so we should be safe.
Here is the moral of the story-- always confirm toothbrush ownership before sticking the said instrument in your mouth all willy-nilly.
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