Because I am Now a Crazy Person: Part 1-- What led to the insanity

I started writing this post a week or so ago.  Back when I had the luxury of sleep.

The people that live in this house with me caught me at a particularly vulnerable point a couple of weekends ago.  I'd been thinking about what we don't do because I can't handle the stress (real or imagined) of doing certain activities-- like sports, water parks, or pets.
Morgan did T-ball when he was 5.  That is the extent of our foray into organized running around.  I was pregnant, had an ornery toddler, a boy with a lot of energy, and a husband who traveled a lot.  It boiled down to the old adage, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  Mama was not happy.  Now none of my children will be the next great who-ever.  Game over in 2004.
It's not so much that I don't like water parks per se, it's that it combines two of my trigger points-- water and chaos.  One makes me afraid and the other makes me stark raving mad.  Not the calmest or most fun way to spend family time.
As for pets.... I grew up on a farm where animals lived outside.  They weren't pets.  Besides, we ate them and they were delicious.  The wailing and gnashing of teeth over the death of the guinea pig earlier this year almost did me in.
I began to feel guilt.  My poor, unfortunate children, missing out on life.
So, we got a cat.  She and I tolerate each other.  She spends time with me only when no one else is around or when she wants something to eat at 6 in the morning.  Heidi is covered in scratches because she cannot handle not handling the cat.  Still.  Heidi is the cat's first choice in companions.  
And now comes the real sign of my insanity.  I am looking for a dog.  Do I like dogs?  Oh, no.  I do not.  So it has to be the perfect dog.  Not too big/small.  Very cute.  Obedient.  Gets along with handsy 8 year olds.  Reasonable rehoming fee.  The big question is how does one manage to find the perfect dog?  I pour over Petfinder, Adopt a Dog, and the Humane Society pages.  They taunt me with their wares, which I either don't want or can't get because I won't subject our family to an "in home" visit to make sure we are the perfect pet parents.  I'm willing to take a dog, aren't I?  Believe me.  It should suffice.

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