Bullying

Yesterday Malynn came flying into the house.  "Sampson (name changed) is on top of Morgan and he won't get off and Morgan is getting really hurt!"  I usually take this with a grain of salt.  Morgan tends to be a victim in the making.  Malynn tends to over emphasize. 
I came out the door and could see Sophie and our little neighbor boy circling around Sampson like little sparrows protecting their nest, trying to get him off of Morgan.  I yelled out, "What's going on out here?!"  (p.s.  I can yell really loud!) Sampson sat up and said, "We're just wrestling."  Morgan darted out from under him and ran home crying.  Ooooohhh.  I really tore into him then.  I generally have enough (barely) self-control not to bellow at other people's kids.  However, if you are are at least 8-10 inches taller than my kid and built like a man and feel the need to beat my kid up, I'm going to take care of the problem.
After sending that boy home, I came inside to talk to Morgan.  Sampson had been sitting on Morgan's stomach "for a full five minutes."  I asked him if he'd timed it-- I guess this whole family is prone to a little exaggeration.  When I asked Sophie about it, she said, "longer than you can believe!"  What ever the case, it hurt Morgan enough that he wouldn't eat dinner because his stomach hurt.  Then we dredge out that Sampson is in therapy for anger management and since he can't retaliate against the other boys in our culdesac because they are big enough to stand up for themselves, he spends his vitriol on Morgan.  The thing is, Sampson doesn't live in our culdesac.  I'm not being paid to babysit him.  Why, if his parents know there is a problem, are they allowing him to be away, by himself, and not supervised?  Grrr. 
Generally, I think the anti-bullying craze is just that.  Crazy.  Bullying is wrong.  No matter who does it.  Somethings about the movement drive me crazy-- it's usually the kids who finally retaliate after being picked on that are the ones that get into trouble.  Real bullies, professional ones, tend to hide what they are doing.  Sweet as pie to adults or to their superiors, but nasty as soon as they are the biggest one.  Whereas, the one who has endured daily torture, finally explodes in an uncontrolled outburst, catching the notice of a passing adult.  -- the old saying goes something like, you can never know a man unless you walk in his shoes.  Everyone has a problem.  Everyone struggles.  I'm not going to feel badly for Sampson because he has a mean father.  My kids have a mean mother and I've yet to see a one of them go out and beat a friend up.  -- this is one that my kids do and I've seen it as they play with a group of kids of various ages:  9 year old says, "The 5 year old is bullying us."  Ummmm.  Sorry, I don't feel sorry.  I'll take care of the 5 year old's behavior, but if you sit there and # 1. tease them.  #2. don't get up and move away, then it's your own problem.  -- if there is a rise in bullying, it's because we as parents aren't doing our job.  We don't know what our kids are up to.  We haven't made our kids accountable for their actions in a way that stops bad behavior.  We haven't helped them to develop empathy.  If we feel helpless about their behavior, there is help out there, it's a matter of time and pride.  We have to spend the time and stop thinking about how it affects us.
Have you noticed I only get on here when I have a problem or a rant?  Hmmm....  Perhaps I should spend more time with my own anger management issues.  Or start photographing my hobbies.
This morning at the breakfast table Malynn said, "Mom, I don't usually like to see you get mad, but that...... that was amazing!"